Slowly Committing Suicide

I know the title sounds dramatic, but it's a phrase that has rocked me ever since reading it. I'll get to that in a bit. Tonight I had dinner with my dad. I was talking to him about my weight loss and what I'm doing right now to get healthy. He told me that he had a picture of me from 2 years ago.

When I got home, I reminded him to email it to me. When I got it, I was shocked yes, but sad. You see, I had seen that phrase in my title in a fitness article. Someone had said that they were slowly committing suicide by the food choices and lifestyle they were living. Looking at that picture, I saw myself doing that. In that moment in that picture, I knew I was overweight, I was not happy, but I didn't realize the magnitude of my problem. I didn't realize that in that moment, I was killing myself. 

Two years later, I am in a better place. I want to live. I want to live a long life. And I don't want to go back there. I have dieted before, lost many pounds, and have gone back up. Not being that person is a day to day struggle. Like a drug addict, leaving the addiction behind is difficult. It's a daily choice to stay "clean." Addicts stay clean by going through rehab, having a sponsor, and a support group. Well I have better than that... I have two coaches, supportive family and friends, and a mighty God who wants the best for me. I believe this time I can beat it and live healthy.

My thoughts to you: Are you slowly committing suicide? Are you limiting the number of days you live? I urge you to today to truly look at your condition, find support, pray to God for strength, and get started. Live.

Then

Now

You Are What You Eat

You know that saying right? You are what you eat? Well...in my efforts to lose weight and eat right, I've tried lots of things...You know the "Get rid of all carbs" diet..."Say no to sugar" diet. You get the picture. A few years back I did Weight Watchers and I really liked it.

Weight Watchers basically believes in a well balanced, portion controlled diet. Meaning it's lower points food are high in protein and fiber (which burns calories to digest). The higher point stuff is fatty and bad carbs. It also taught me correct portion size. I did it for 4 months and loss almost 20 pounds before. Once I learned, I got off of it. Once I learned, it was not worth the money I was paying each month.

Fast forward to the present...I once again needed to have that same kind of Weight Watchers tool but didn't want to pay the amount again. So I searched the web for food diaries. I found one called MyPlate. It is fabulous! 

You first need to go to Livestrong's MyPlate and set up a FREE account. Once set up, you will come to the following window.

Before you start entering food, you need to know what your calorie goal is. Click on the "Calorie Goals" link button towards the top. It will bring you to this window:

The calorie goals given to you are based on your age, height, weight, how active you are, and how many pounds you'd like to lose per week. Please note that a healthy weight loss is no more than 2 pounds per week. Don't go higher, though you might be tempted to. Once your info is entered, it will tell you how many calories you can eat per day.

Now you're ready to enter in your food. Go back to the MyPlate page. Under the "What did you eat?" question, start typing in the food. Be specific. For example, if you went to Subway and ordered a turkey sandwich...then type that in. It will bring up a list of entries. I always go with the Verified entry whenever available. Click on the one that matches and that's it! The cool thing is they have a VERY extensive database of food. You'll find most of your brands and restaurants on there!

As you keep entering your food throughout the day, your calorie calculator will keep track of how many calories you have left. This is very similar to Weight Watcher's point system.

The great thing about this website is that you can scroll further down, it will give you a cumulative list of all your food intake numbers and let you know if you go over your recommended daily intake (i.e. did you eat more fat that suggested?)

It's just that easy. But in case you're not convinced, here is my list of reasons why you should do it!

1) They have cell phone app versions, so you can take it with you as you eat all day.

2) If you're going to eat out, you can look ahead of time to see what to order. This way, once you get there you do not need to be tempted by the items on the menu. Go in knowing what you want and order it!

3) You learn very quickly what items will suck up your allotted calories and you'll stay away from them.

4) You'll find yourself measuring your food, since most items are listed by size. Then you'll really know the proper portion size.

5) It's FREE!! No more paying $35 or higher for places like Weight Watchers.

Try it out, even if you're currently on Weight Watchers, and compare it! Remember... weight loss is 80% food and 20% exercise. Get the food under control and you are on your way!

My Biggest Loser Moment and Nike's Just Do It

After that dreaded doctor visit, I found myself in one of those same crossroads like many of you come to as well. You know...the one that says I keep going the way I'm going and it's just not that serious...and the other than says I need to get my butt in gear. Well I took the second path.


I knew I couldn't just get a gym membership. Been there. Done that. One, I hate the fact that women show up with skin hanging out and all dolled up. I hate men that just stare. Working out is ugly. Sorry. It is. You sweat and you get funky. Period. I also knew that going there gives you no accountability. You can work out as hard or as light as you want. You can walk in for 5 minutes and be back out and nobody knows. It's way too easy. I had been hearing about the new craze called boot camps. It seemed way too hard, but maybe this could be what I needed.

"Working out is ugly. Sorry. It is. 

You sweat and you get funky. Period."

One of my cousins had been attending one and seemed pretty excited about it. I decided that the first week of July 2011 would be my start. It gave me time to relax after a long school year. I showed up the first day determined to show that I wasn't the overweight girl that would slow everyone down. The fat girl that nobody would want to partner up with. Yup I'll show all them skinny girls that really don't need this workout. Boy did I show them. I lasted 10 minutes before I had to sit down because the room was spinning. My coach came over and told me to drink water and rest. I did for about 5-7 minutes. Only 50 minutes of exercise to go! Crap. This time I lasted..oh about 5 minutes. No, no..no dizziness. I felt like puking my guts out. You see....well at least from what I know, when you're heart isn't used to a heart beat that fast and a body that is demanding blood (oxygen), it speeds up like crazy and the rapid blood movement gets you nauseated. I understood now why all the Biggest Loser contestants (love this show) all threw up!!! I sat down again, got my water, but was having a hard time breathing. Now on to my real moment.

My coach had me move to a different area of the room, near a fan. I went and sat there feeling like a failure. Here I was taking my first step and I failed. My coach came over to check on me. He asked me how I was. I couldn't answer. My lip started quivering and then came the tears. I felt like an idiot. "What are you feeling right now?" my coach asked. "Overwhelmed" ...that was the only word that I responded with. "Why?" he asked. Well in that moment, my mind was saying I can do this, but my body was not following along. My coach then said something I'll never forget. He said, "What you are feeling is a release. You've had this monkey on your back for so long and the mutha@$#%$ is finally off.Give me 6 months Steph and watch what I can do for you." I sat there in gratitude. Gratitude for the fact that he even cared enough to ask about my feelings and for believing in me. Boy does that make a difference. I've seen my own students make a big turn around just from me believing in them and telling them that. Here I was the student. I understood the power of belief.

"What you are feeling is a release. 

You've had this monkey on your back for so long 

and the mutha@$#%$ is finally off.

Give me 6 months Steph 

and watch what I can do for you." -Omari

Fast forward 6 months, I'm down 27 pounds. I've stopped snoring at night. I do not wake up with lower back pain. I'm not just dieting, like I did before with just denying myself food. I'm trying to live a lifestyle. I eat almost everything I want in moderation. But...I'm moving. Lots. I'm boxing. Doing lunges. Jumping rope. Walking and jogging. Climbing up hills. Doing yoga. And doing other things I never ever thought possible physically. It's amazing. 

Ok here is my pitch to you...Like Nike's motto. Just Do It! Don't think about getting your life in order, just do it. Stop doubting yourself, JUST DO IT! Stop making excuses...JUST DO IT! ... Stop saying I gotta..I gotta....... JUST...DO...IT!


BTW...If you're in the West Contra Costa area...go to http://www.fit-verse.com. I work out with this coach. Get a week for free! You won't regret it!